|What Turns Women On!
Some Research Into What Attracts Women Sexually In Men
This material is the product of research into 200 women, who responded to a questionnaire about what they find attractive in men....The main groups of responses were (click on the link to go to that section):
When you become even mildly aroused sexually, stimulation of the penis, balls, vulva, or clitoris tends to increase your arousal further.
If you are just caressing the clitoris, you will probably want to keep most caresses gentle. You can bring much more variety and actually increase the intensity of stimulation by specific genital caresses of the most responsive spots than by merely using one or two fingers to mimic intercourse. Since the clitoris becomes erect and firm it stands out in the aroused female like a firm rod imbedded in the soft surrounding tissues at the meeting of the two inner labia just in front of the vagina.
When you start to caress the clitoris, the tissues in the area are usually more or less dry. Until they become moist with natural secretions or through lubrication, rubbing along the surface causes discomfort or irritation. Your earliest clitoral caresses must therefore remain free of surface friction. Two simple techniques qualify: the rolling-pin type caress, in which you roll your finger back and forth across either the tip or the base of the clitoris like a rolling pin, and the vibrating caress in which you jiggle the finger rapidly but with very small excursions so that the surface tissues can move with the finger within the range of their elasticity.
As more thorough sexual arousal brings the fluid forming glands of the vagina into play, you can easily spread enough lubricating moisture over the clitoris to permit silky, non-irritating friction. However, you must usually transfer this moisture deliberately from the moist vulva and vagina to the vicinity of the clitoris, which itself has no lubricating glands. You can best accomplish this purpose by simply repeatedly dipping the finger into the moist parts of the vagina and stroking the clitoris. In this procedure, you are using the vagina as a source of fluid, but you can also enjoy sexual stimulation.
Fluid-transferring caresses are an important part of genital stimulation. Stroking from behind forward along the inside of the large outer lips of the vulva or across the vaginal opening produces sexual excitement while simultaneously moistening the clitoris for intercourse or direct caress.
Soft, silky stroking rather than harsh rubbing works best. You will find many variations possible: one finger stroking up one side and then the other, tickling or vibrating titillation up one side and then the other, stroking along the sides of the vulva with one finger following each track, stroking from back to front with the flats of all four fingers joined (which you will find easiest if you hold your arm still and alternately open and close your hand in a snatching motion).
If you must go up into the vagina to find enough fluid, insert one or two fingers about half way in, press them fairly firmly against the front wall of the vagina so that you press this tissue and the underlying urinary tube between the pads of your finger and the pelvic bone, then draw your fingers along the vaginal wall until you reach the clitoris.
This caress usually lubricates the clitoris quite well while simultaneously offering sexual excitement and thrills. Or you can use any of the vaginal caresses described below in alternation with clitoral stimulation to keep your fingers and the stimulated area moist.
A well lubricated clitoris responds keenly to friction either crosswise or lengthwise, at its tip or its base, back to front or front to back.
You can stimulate the clitoris with the pad of your finger, the side of your finger shaft, the back of your bent finger, or your thumb knuckle. While engaging in vaginal caress, you can occasionally rub the base of your index finger and its knuckle or the pad of your thumb tip across or along the clitoris. Caresses can be slow or fast, steady or vibrating, rhythmic or irregular.
Almost anything goes, with two exceptions: don't use the fingernail area because the delicate tissues in this area scratch very easily, and don't continue friction-type caresses after the clitoris begins to get dry without first transferring more lubricating fluid to it.
Like the clitoris, the labia require lubricating moisture before they will tolerate much rubbing. Their surface location makes even the gentlest caress keenly satisfying, however. You can stimulate the inner lips with simple one-finger stroking. You can pick up one lip between your thumb and finger, stroking along its length with light or moderate pressure or gently pulling it. You can fold your index and middle fingers, then catch one inner lip between them for a sort of rolling caress which simultaneously presses one of the knuckles against the clitoris.
The inner lips contain erectile tissue like that found in the penis and clitoris, but their engorgement usually occurs only during the final stages of sexual arousal. You may find that during arousal the inner lips engorge so firmly that they protrude and push the outer lips completely aside. The inner lips simultaneously thicken into firm ridges instead of delicate folds. This enables you to bring a woman to orgasm easily without any danger of ejaculating before she has enjoyed her own orgasm.
The opening of the vagina becomes moist quite early in foreplay, so you can both caress it simultaneously and use it as a source of lubricating fluid for the clitoris.
Side to side friction along the back of the vagina with the finger inserted half an inch to an inch can be very exciting! A rotary caress in which you insert the finger an inch or so into the outlet and move it rapidly in a circle also proves exciting.
When sexual arousal is high, just prior to intercourse, another special caress sometimes gives quite a thrill. Pick up the muscle body which lies just behind the vaginal opening with your fingers part way in the vagina and your thumb tip on the outside. Kneed these muscles between thumb and fingers, jiggle them up and down or from side to side, stretch them downward or alternately squeeze and release them.
Most women develop rather keen sexual sensitivity of the tube leading from the bladder to the outside. This tube lies just in front of the vagina, where it gets caught between the penis and the pelvic bone.
By running one or two fingers up along the front wall of the vagina and pressing that wall toward your woman's pubic bone, you can duplicate this stimulation. Rhythmic strokings, in-and-out vibration or kneading motions all give varied and intense effect. Unlike most genital caresses, which should be silky and light-touched, this one requires reasonably firm pressure to be effective.
Caresses of the vagina itself serve several useful purposes. You build sexual excitement through in-and-out motions of one or two fingers, through two finger twists of the wrist while the fingers are inserted and spread.
You can judge your partner's preparedness for intercourse through vaginal caress, and assure her comfort during intercourse by always waiting until the vagina is thoroughly moist and is sufficiently relaxed to admit two fingers with ease before making entry.
Finally, intensive sex play either through the techniques discussed above or through finger motions simulating actual sex contact usually prove the easiest way to provide the necessary extra orgasms for women who need more than one climax in order to feel totally replete after intercourse or who need several more orgasms during each month than their man can otherwise provide. If you adopt this course, however, remember that after one orgasm a woman needs further sexual arousal - that's how to help her reach orgasm again.
How to caress the male genitals
Proper caresses of the male genitals do nothing to speed the male orgasm, and in fact often have the opposite action. By building male excitement to a high level before the first contact of intercourse, you make that contact seem almost quieting, and keep the sexual stimulations of the first insertion from causing a quick climax.
Moreover, you prolong considerably the period of preliminary sex play, which generally makes full feminine fruition more likely.
You avoid both the hair-trigger urgency which most men develop if they hold off until their excitement is on the wane and the poor quality of erection which makes an inadequately stimulated male an uninspiring sex partner.
Gentle, early genital caresses usually center upon the scrotum and the top surface of the penile shaft. Light stroking of the back of the scrotum, starting perhaps an inch or two behind the sac itself and running either down or around the dangling appendage, often proves effective.
If you let the scrotum and testes lie free upon the flats of your four fingers, several varieties of caress become easy.
You can bobble the testes about with your fingers, gently scratch the back of the scrotum with your fingernails or the front of it with your thumb, or roll folds of the scrotal skin (avoiding the testicles) between thumb and fingers. Pinching caresses of the scrotal area can also be quite exciting if reserved for the final phases of sex play.
A quivering caress with the fingers patting lightly along the top of the penis, flicking of this area with the index finger, and scratching or pinching it all produce keen masculine excitement.
Stroking along the top of the penis from its base to its tip generally spurs male ardor without precipitating a quick orgasm and ejaculation.
Grasping or clutching the penis without any up-and-down friction also stirs excitement without upsetting harmonious sex pacing.
As a final fillip before sexual intercourse, some women occasionally administer a sucking caress just beneath the head of the penis, grasping the shaft in one hand and the head in the other, then quickly twisting the two hands in opposite directions in a sort of gentle twisting motion. By going one way then the other with each hand for two or three quick jolts, you can bring any erection to a perfect peak.
Like the female urinary tube, caresses where this tube runs along the bottom surface of the penis must generally be limited to tickling, scratching or pinching, which stimulate the skin instead of the underlying urinary tube. Deeper frictions might bring on a male climax and end the prospect of intercourse for you both. However, you can stimulate the male urinary tube before it reaches the penis without this danger.
This tube runs close to the skin surface for an inch or two behind the scrotum. By pushing the tips of one or two fingers hard up into this area and waggling them to and fro, you can give your man an added sexual thrill.
The final trigger of male sexual excitement is the frenulum, the thin fold of tissue just beneath the penile head. This fold and the small area of tissue adjoining are a man's keenest sexual triggers. In the early stage of sex play, you had best leave this area strictly alone. Caresses here will bring the male to a pitch of excitement demanding intercourse in a few moments.
When you feel fairly well along in your own excitement, you might titillate or tickle this spot very briefly, just enough to make your partner catch his breath and increase his arousal. A quick but gentle scratch across this area with your fingernail will bring a further thrill, and is perfectly safe once you feel fully prepared for any sexual desires it inspires.
You can almost always trigger intercourse when you have reached the point of distinct yearning for it simply by pinching this nerve center once or twice or using the oral caress described above with your hands meeting at this area.