What Turns Women On!

Some Research Into What Attracts Women Sexually In Men

This material is the product of research into 200 women, who responded to a questionnaire about what they find sexually arousing....The main groups of responses were (click on the link to go to that section):

[ Physical Contact - This Page ] Physical Appearance 1 ] Physical Appearance (2) ] Physical Appearance (3) ] Differences between men and women in sexual arousal ] Personal Qualities ] Mental Stimulation ] Sex After 50 - Important Information for Women ] Penis Size As A Turn On For Women ] Fantasy ] Body Image and Sexual Attractiveness ] Whatever Turns You On! ] Read female sexual fantasy here! ] Cunnilingus ] Caressing A Partner ] Sexual advances, making love, exciting your partner ] Genital caresses to excite your partner ] Fetishism ] Pornography ] Commentary ]

Body Image and Sexual Attractiveness

Delayed Ejaculation

Penis Size As A Turn On For Women


How To Have A Relationship

So among the questions on this website about what might turn a woman on, there's one really critical question that's not actually been answered so far: what is it that allows men and women to get together in relationship, without arguing or having emotional problems of some kind?

More to the point, what is it that allows a man to get together with a woman in a relationship that is mutually satisfying, rewarding, and emotionally fulfilling?

logo for Capture His heart and Make Him Love You ForeverSo if I was being cynical, I'd really sum this up by saying what is it that allows a woman to Capture a Man's Heart, and Make Him Love Her Forever?

You see, we all know that women and men are different in how they think and feel, and in particular we know that women have what we might call a "romantic streak", while men tend to be much more sexually driven. These are generalities, of course, but they do hold true for a great many people in life, and it's always worth remembering that generalities tend to be based on real examples of human behaviour.

Now I don't regard myself as particularly cynical, because I've written many websites on romance, love, sex, and intimacy, and so my objective has always been to try and develop information packages and to convey dating advice and relationship advice that will help men and women establish a worthwhile and satisfying relationship.

picture of intertwined heartsTo that end, I've written a number of packages myself, and indeed over the years I have been at the forefront of publication of some particular Internet information that -- for example information about delayed ejaculation. But it occurred to me recently that there's a much more fundamental need for information on the Internet, about how men and women to get into a relationship in the first place.

Now I rather cynically above said something like a I was going to provide information that would enable the woman to capture a man's heart making love her forever. But believe it or not, that actually is the name of a genuine Internet program offered as a relationship advice program for women.

I was so intrigued when I discovered this that I actually wrote a whole review site about it, giving you all the information you could possibly need about how and why it's possible for programs that might seem manipulative to be of real benefit couples in establishing a relationship together.

You see, I think we're all in thrall to the idea of romantic love, and I think one of the things that flows from that is the suggestion that man should meet woman, man should fall in love with woman, woman should fall in love with man, and all live happily ever after.

picture designed to encourage people to follow their dreamsMy work as a therapist and counselor  has demonstrated to me that actually nothing could be further from what really happens: men struggle to meet women, women are frightened of men, prospective couples never talk to each other, many relationships are based on misunderstanding, the pickup artist community rules the Internet, and we don't all live happily ever after. So to get around the stupidity of many Internet review sites, in particular those reviewing Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever.

And the lack of information and knowledge that so many people have about dating and relationships, I'm going to provide you with a genuine review of Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever and you can see this fantastic dating advice website here.

Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever is a program for women looking for a relationship with men, and its premise is that by providing information about male behaviour, emotions, thoughts and feelings, and explaining to women what it is that men really want, women will be better equipped to go out and get a relationship.

When you think about it, there's nothing there that we can actually disagree with! Women like information about how men think and feel, and women want to know how to get over their difficulties in approaching men, because the conventional cultural standard is that women should wait to be pursued by men.

Yet men fear rejection to such an extent that this rarely happens! That's really the true value of programs like Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever: they even out the discrepancy between the sexes by providing each sex with information about how the other thinks and feels, so that it really does become easier to capture each other's hearts. Now whether or not you going to live romantically in love forever is another issue, but at least you have the best possible start....

Sidebar: Some months later: I do now have a little bit more to say about Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever -- chiefly because I've now had some experience in marketing he program, and I have discovered that it's an extremely successful and popular program online with women.

What this says to me is that there's a real shortage of good dating advice for women on the Internet.

That's not meant to imply that capture his heart and make him love you forever isn't a good program, because I believe that it is in fact an extremely good program -- the fact of the matter is, however, that one of the reasons it sells so well is because there is very little competition of this quality.

It doesn't matter whether or not you actually believe in the sexual stereotypes that underpin the writing of this program.

(And those sexual stereotypes are that: (1) women are searching for a long-term relationship with a man who will stay with them forever, and that they particularly want to marry that man and know that he cherishes and loves them above everyone else, and that (2) men are fickle creatures who need to have the thrill of the chase to excite them enough to want to enter into relationship with a woman, and even after they had done so, they still need to be stimulated in a similar way to maintain their interest.)

Sexual stereotypes are, after all, just what you make them: Bernie Zilbergeld spent a lot of time and effort demolishing sexual stereotypes and pointing out the myths that underpin many of our relationships, but I personally think he got this one wrong.

I think the truth of the matter is that men and women do behave in the ways described above, and that anything which enables men and women to attain a degree of freedom and choice whilst fulfilling their natural urges to relate to each other in those particular ways can only be a good thing.

This of course is where Mike Fiore and Claire Casey triumph above everyone else: they know, perhaps as no one else does, that establishing good relationships depends on particular forms, if you like, of interaction between men and women.

The secret of their success in writing Capture His Heart is to put down on paper the principles which seemed to underpin many of our relationships, and which certainly underpin good dating advice for women, but which are rarely acknowledged.

 Physical Contact As An Essential Element of Every Successful Relationship

The body of every man and woman is well supplied with erogenous zones which, if properly caressed, bring full sexual arousal. Women's chief erogenous zones are, in order of greatest sensitivity, the clitoris, the labia, and the vagina entrance.

Next come the nipples, but though the majority of women respond readily to stimulation of them by finger and thumb and the mouth (sucking or licking), there are far more women than is realized who find such attentions to the nipples off-putting by being irritating and sometimes downright painful. The equivalent areas on men's bodies are the penis, testicles, nipples and scrotum. But some men cannot get aroused sexually, even when they receive adequate stimulation - a condition known as delayed ejaculation.

The other sensitive zones for both sexes are the insides and, to a less extent, the outsides of the upper thighs, the perineum, behind the knees, the lips and the inside of the mouth, the throat, the nape of the neck, behind the ears, the lobes, the length of the spine, the buttocks, the anus, and the navel.

There are not many parts of the surface of the body, then, that are not sexually responsive to caresses of one kind or another, principally with the fingers, lips, and tongue.

This being so, responses to physiological stimuli, at least via some of the sensitive zones, makes physiological response universal. And of course some arousal is entirely or principally psychological: this is particularly true of the woman's caresses of the partner, which although physiological for him, have psychologically arousing properties for her.

Well, what does turn a woman on and make her come?

A good communication system between husband and wife brings far more satisfaction than anything else except good sex! But there are specific cases - for example - if she is anorgasmic, training the muscles of her pelvic floor will go a long way towards ending anorgasmia.

Coital Alignment Techniques

False targets that (may) spoil sex - and popular ways to make a woman come!

One false belief is that successful sex involves mutual orgasm. But as we know, a woman may have one or several orgasms before her husband ejaculates his semen.

Another is that a woman will always come during intercourse by thrusting alone. In the absence of orgasm during intercourse, people have ended until quite recently to blame the man, saying that he did not know how to make love or else was a selfish character who did not care whether his wife was satisfied or not.

Truth is - for mutual assured pleasure, a woman needs to come before her man enters her. Many women (nearly 1 in 4 in our survey) invariably come from manual stimulation of the clitoris, and about half always come from cunnilingus. Many woman have one special caress which makes them randy, and can sometimes make them come without direct stimulation of the genitals. Here are examples:

"Pushing his prick up my anus." Please be careful if you do this, and watch out for the transfer of yeast cells from the vagina to the anus. This can cause yeast infections of the vagina, or Bacterial Vaginosis. Bad news both!

"Running his fingers all over the lips of my vagina and inside and out and on and on forever, and I get sexually aroused so very slowly and yet realizing that I can go on rising until eternity, and anticipating, and finally he would plunge in a finger, two fingers hard and go on from there, and/or a special thrill, a sudden twist of the hand so that the wrist bone grates suddenly, harshly against the soft sensitive insides of the tops of my thighs, and I come in a massive climax, with my natural sexual lubrication spurting out of me!"

"I love him to run his hands over and under my ass while we're screwing at the same time that we're kissing."

"Standing when you are held so close and tight you can feel your man's cock and balls fitting so comfortably between your legs."

"I love to have my tits played with. I get really turned on when a man sucks on them. I get turned on by this more than by anything else. When a man plays with my clitoris with his fingers, it feels really good, but I don't come."

"My lover caresses and touches every inch of my body, but when he brushes my vagina with his penis, it is the most glorious moment of all his caresses. He knows how much I enjoy this moment and prolongs entrance as long as I can stand it."

"The touch of his penis at my cunt entrance makes me leap forward towards coming with a big jump."

"Having my breasts and nipples caressed arouses me very much and can soon bring me off. I especially, like to have a man take one of my nipples into his mouth. I could and have spent much time having a man do that to me. Second to that is cunnilingus which arouses me about as much."

"Having the area of my clitoris and vagina caressed makes me respond more than anything else. One way of doing that, which is difficult for a man to do, but which I get most pleasure from, is having that area caressed with the top of his penis. If he cannot do that, doing it with his tongue is just about as good."

"Sixty-nine - mutual oral sex - arouses us both on more than anything else. Standing in the shower with the water and soap falling off us is great and also good clean fun."

Although most women respond much more keenly than men to gentle stroking and almost require this type of preliminary play to become fully aroused, men also welcome this type of caress.

Remember the general principle that stroking with the whole hand generally proves exciting to both parties, while fingertip stroking usually excites the passive partner more than the active one. But avoid any body areas which may have physical conditions or problems such as gout - check out this diet for gout which is reputed to help enormously with such problems!

An example of what makes a woman come!

Krystyna is thirty-four, a Swede married to an Englishman, and lives in Sussex, England. She emails to say:

"We have a heated swimming pool, where we can swim naked all the year round. We often make love while we are swimming. It's quite surprising the number of different things you can do.

Two positions that we use, each of which I find especially exciting and which give me fantastic orgasms. In one I lie on my tummy holding on to the steps, which are at the shallow end. When he kneels down in the water Max's penis is exactly level with my vagina.

So he kneels between my legs and pushes into me, and then puts his hand round and parts my labia. He doesn't touch my clitoris at all. Then we rock backwards and forwards, and the movement of the water over my clitoris is indescribable. It takes a long time for me to come off like this, because the build-up is slow.

As you know, a man who has control of his ejaculation and knows the art of lasting in bed is a man who most women would prefer as a lover - at least over a man who has no control and ejaculates prematurely before the woman is satisfied during sex.

Building up to orgasm may take more than a quarter of an hour, but all the time there are these superb sensations which slowly get more and more intense, until there is a huge burst, which makes me tremble like a leaf from fingertips to toes.

Max always holds out until I begin to tremble, then he brings himself to orgasm and the jerking of his penis inside me makes me tremble even more, and the more I tremble, the more intense my sensations are. I have blacked out coming off like this, which I have never done when we make love in bed or anywhere else. Another way we do it is to go into deeper water, so that Max's feet are firmly touching the bottom and his shoulders are above the water.

Then I climb on to his penis and put my legs round his waist, and cross my feet. When Max bends his knees and straightens them, his penis goes in and out of my vagina and as it does so, it makes the water flow under a kind of pressure between my sex-lips and over my clitoris, and this is fantastic, too.

But most fantastic of all is when we do it at the water inlet. This is in the shallow end, and the water flows in very, very strongly. I face the inlet and hang, on to the sides, then with my knees apart I squat down until my vulva is exactly opposite the end about six or seven inches away. Max kneels behind me and comes into me.

The underwater jet forces my labia open and plays directly on my clitoris. It also hits the base of Max's penis which doesn't come in me, and joggles his balls about, which he finds very exciting. I always have seven or eight orgasms, and Max never fewer than two. His second one always takes longer than the first, which is why I have so many more orgasms than Max.

But once when Max was particularly randy he had three in about three minutes, and then had two more slower ones. I lost count of mine that time. We had to go and lie on the bed afterwards, we were completely exhausted. But it was a fantastic experience.

Sometimes Allan and Richard come and swim with us, and they like helping us and watching us. Allan and Richard are bisexual, like Max.

Sometimes I let them make love to me if they haven't brought their girlfriends with them, which quite often they don't. Sometimes Allan and Richard make love together, and this I find terribly exciting. So does Max. We often sit on the side and watch them.

The way Allan and Richard like best for making love, is for them to face one another and put their penises between each other's thighs and thrusting. They say that their penises rub against one another as well as against their thighs, and that's what really excites them.

While they are doing this, they deep kiss one another really passionately. This turns me on, too. Sometimes they sit on the edge of the pool deep-kissing and stroking one another's penises, and I have sometimes reached orgasm just watching them.

When they come off in the pool, you can see their semen shooting through the water like little puffs of smoke. If Max just touches my nipples when we are watching this, I come off at once. I recommend any man who wants to improve his sexual performance to go and have a look at some great information on how to last longer in bed so that he can really pleasure his partner during sex.

Recently Max and I have decided we mustn't make love in the pool as often as we have been doing: he has experienced an episode of delayed ejaculation - we found out about making it easy for him to ejaculate during sex here - and we've begun to find that we are not having such intense orgasms when we make love in the house as we used to, and we think it's because it is always so exciting in the pool that we are coming to rely on it too much."

Videos on delayed ejaculation

Ejaculation Delay

Male orgasmic disorder - click here

Male orgasmic disorder

How to control premature ejaculation


Email    rodmphillips"at"yahoo.com (change "at" to @ when emailing)